


Not for Nothing

by welpherewer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark, F/M, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Imperius Curse (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29212452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welpherewer/pseuds/welpherewer
Summary: Draco’s been acting strange since the start of sixth year and y/n’s takes it upon herself to find out why, and see if she can put a stop to it.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

You were on the train headed to Hogwarts to start 6th year. Luna was passing out quibblers and you took one since she offered. You liked Luna, at least from a distance. You didn’t understand why so many people went out of their way to make fun of her. It seemed unnecessary and a little cruel.  
You leafed through the pages and made your way through the train to your compartment. 

“Didn’t know you were interested in that nonsense y/l/n,” Draco said as you passed him on the way to your seat. He sat with Blaise and Pansy. There was room next to him. You had half a mind to sit down beside him, knowing he’d go red.  
“She offered. I accepted. It doesn’t hurt to be nice,” you said sliding into your seat, the next section over.  
“You’ve always been soft. What a sorry excuse for a Slytherin”. Blaise kicked Draco’s foot softly but he kept going. “You know I bet if you didn’t try so hard to be little miss popular, you could actually be useful.”  
“Useful for what exactly?” You asked, knowing he meant Voldemort’s cause, not that he’d admit it.  
Before he had a chance to answer, Pansy cut in with a change of subject and you let them carry on their own conversation. 

As you leafed through the pages of the magazine you thought about what Draco said. It was true that you were popular. You had no idea how but your status as the odd Slytherin out helped you make friends with Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and even some Gryffindors. Of course, most Slytherins liked you as well. You were a y/l/n after all; one of the oldest pure blood families next to the Malfoy’s.  
In fact, you and Draco spent a lot of your childhood together, but when you both got to Hogwarts, he changed. There was something different about him this year as well. Your father had told you Draco was initiated, but he was always trying to rile you up. You weren’t sure whether to believe him. Draco might’ve revered the death eaters but he’d never become one himself, would he? 

You looked back at him and caught his eye. He looked determined yet anxious. You wondered what he saw in you. But suddenly Blaise laughed at whatever he’d said earlier and Draco directed his attention away from you again. 

The rest of the train ride was long and boring. You frequently moved through the trains, not able to stay in one place for long. You gossiped with your girlfriends and ate sweets from the trolley but soon it was time to go. As students filed out of the train, you decided to make a last minute trip to the loo. Your hands were sticky from the toffee you and your friends had and you'd hate to be stuck in a carriage with sticky hands for the ride up to the castle. You quickly washed your hands and, since you were there, fixed your hair and clothes. When you walked out, you realized all the students had gone but then you heard a voice and you knew it was Draco’s. You followed it and hid behind the door when Draco came into view. He was talking to… no one?  
“Petrificus Totalus”  
Suddenly you see Harry Potter, immobilized on the ground.  
“Oh right, she was dead before you could wipe the drool off your chin.” And then he stomped on Harry’s face so hard that Harry started bleeding.  
You gasped a little too loudly causing Draco to look up at you. You locked eyes with him again, but this time you wanted him to know how disgusted you were by his actions. You couldn’t look meaner if you tried.  
He turned back to Harry. “That’s for my father. Enjoy your ride back to London,”

He opened the door, and grabbed your wrist, pulling you with him.  
“What the hell do you think you’re doing,” you tried to yank your hand out of his, but he was too strong.  
“You won’t tell a soul about this, do you hear me?”  
“Why? Everyone’s been saying for years what a coward you are! This wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, I assure you.” You tried to pull free but he held on even tighter as he moved through the train. “Let me go!” He didn’t say anything, didn’t loosen his grip. “What’s your problem anyway? Harry was completely defenseless and you bloody broke his nose!”  
“He deserved it,” Draco said.  
He’d dragged you out of the train by now. Professor Flitwick approached the two of you and Draco let go of your wrist before he could see. You wanted to go back to the train to help Harry but Flitwick asked for your names.  
“Draco Malfoy” Draco said, sounding exceptionally bored. You wished he’d had more respect for his professors.  
“Y/n y/l/n professor” you said, looking back at the train.  
“Very well. You missed the carriages, you’ll need to walk up to the castle,” Flitwick looked back down at his list of parchment. “Was there anyone else still on the train with you?”  
“No,” Draco said, annoyed.  
“Maybe,” you found yourself saying. You realized you didn’t want to get Draco in trouble with a professor. You hoped that Flitwick would take your answer as a reason to search the trains.  
“Alright, be on your way you two. Wouldn’t want to be late again,”  
“Yes professor,” you said as Draco took off. “Hey!” You caught up to him. “You owe me!”  
“I don’t owe you a thing,”  
You reached for his hand now. You're far away from Flitwick and the castle. No one should be able to hear you.  
“Draco tell me what’s wrong,”  
“Nothing’s wrong,” he pulled his hand away, easily. “And anything that’s going on isn’t your business anyway.” He started walking toward the castle again.  
“I can help you if you just tell me,” you followed after him.  
“You’re useless y/l/n. You can’t even help yourself.”  
“Why? Because I chose not to be a death eater? That’s what’s wrong isn’t it? You’re one of them!”  
He pulls you against his chest and covers your mouth with his hand. The other grips his wand.  
“Don’t make me shut you up for good,” He sounds angry, more angry than he’s ever been before. It scares you, but only for a moment.  
You open your mouth and bite down. Draco yelps and pulls away.  
“Expelliarmus” you say, your own wand pointed at him. His wand shoots off and you catch it. “I’d like to see you try,” you tell him, giving him back his wand.  
This defeat’s made him angrier but you don’t care. You walk back down toward the train, leaving him on his own. 

You caught Harry and Luna on their way to the castle. You didn’t know she was still on the train too.  
“Harry!” You called out to him, “are you okay? I saw what Draco did to you. I’m so sorry, he-”  
Harry cut you off. “It’s okay y/n. How are you?”  
The three of you chat politely. You weren’t good friends with either of them but everyone knew Harry Potter. How could they not?

When you reached the castle you could hear Draco shouting.  
“What the hell is that git up to now?” You mumbled and heard Harry laugh. It made you smile, and helped ease some of your guilt.  
Draco was arguing with Filch about his father’s walking stick. When the three of you get closer he ignored you and focused on Harry instead.  
“Nice face Potter” you glared at Draco but he didn’t notice or care, and left the three of you behind.  
“Would you like me to fix it,” Luna asked dreamily.  
Harry exchanged a glance with you, “Have you ever fixed one? A nose?”  
“No but I’ve done several toes and how different are they really?” She asked and it was hard to argue with that logic. You shrugged your shoulders.  
In a few seconds, Harry’s nose was as good as new.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco hadn’t spoken to you since your walk up to the castle, which was just as well as you had nothing to say to him. Although that didn’t mean you didn’t worry.   
He’d been ignoring everyone, barely got any sleep, and would disappear from the common room for hours on end. Sometimes you didn’t even see him in class.   
Snape had vouched for him, so he hadn’t gotten into any trouble with the headmaster, but you knew something was wrong and you had to know what. 

You’d quickly found your way into the Slug Club, and tonight was Slughorn’s Christmas party. You wanted to ask Draco, mostly to keep an eye on him, but you were sure he’d say no and there was no way you’d let Malfoy reject you. You invited Blaise instead, hoping that Draco had told him about whatever he was planning but Blaise knew nothing and went off to flirt with the other Slytherin girls as soon as you got there.   
You spent some time wandering around, making small talk with Neville Longbottom of all people, when you saw Snape walk in. He didn’t seem the type to attend Christmas parties so what was he doing here? You promised Neville you’d chat later and kept your eye on Snape. You watched him from a distance as he passed a message onto Harry. Harry looked confused, alarmed.  
And suddenly you heard him. Draco, shouting, again. Filch had him by his sleeve, said he’d been lurking in strange corridors upstairs.   
“Okay, I was gate-crashing, happy!?” He said desperately, and when Snape offered to escort him out you knew you had to follow them. 

They stopped near another dark corridor, and whispered to each other. You couldn’t get too close for fear of being found out so you heard very little.   
“Maybe I did hex that Bell girl, maybe I didn’t” Draco whispered harshly and your eyes went wide. Katie was your friend and she had been terribly cursed. But why would Draco do such a thing?   
“-Unbreakable vow” you heard Snape say.   
“-I was chosen for this-” Draco said back.   
“You’re afraid-,”  
“This is my moment!” And Draco walked away and you followed.  
Once you were both far away from Snape you didn’t worry about being quiet. You chased after Draco and called out his name.   
“Draco, wait! I heard everything! Tell me this isn’t what I think it is,”  
“Y/l/n, you’re just as bad at Potter. Don’t make me petrify you as well.”  
“You wouldn’t get the chance,” you said breathlessly.   
“Just mind your own business”. He turned to walk away again but you reached out for his hand, caught it.   
You quickly pulled up his sleeve to reveal his dark mark. He yanked his hand away from you, almost embarrassed that you saw it.   
“Why? We promised each other when we were kids we’d never do this. That we’d never be like our fathers,” you sank to the floor, heartbroken. He’d really done it. Draco Malfoy was a death eater.   
To your surprise, Draco sat down next to you against the wall.   
“We were stupid y/n” he said softly. “This is my destiny,”   
“No,” you shook your head, “it’s not. It doesn’t have to be,” you pleaded with him, “whatever they’re making you do, don’t do it! I’ll get you out of this,”  
“This is my moment,” he said ready to get up and walk away. But you wouldn’t let him. You rolled over and straddled him. Your knees on either side of his legs. You traced his skinny face with your fingers, ran your thumb over his dark circles.  
“Can’t you see what this is doing to you?” You tell him, your hand now resting on his cheek.   
He removes it, “It doesn’t matter,” he says, “I was chosen”. But he’s defeated. You get off him and hold your hand out for him to take. After you help him up, you lead him back to the common room. There’s barely anyone there, most people already gone for the holidays or still at Slughorn’s party.   
You knew Draco’s dorm would be empty and when you brought him up, his bed looked untouched, like it hadn’t been slept in in days.   
“You need to sleep,” you told him, sitting him on his bed.   
“I can’t-” but you cut him off  
“No, you need to. Look at you Draco. Whatever he wants from you, we’ll handle it together. You shouldn’t work yourself to death”  
Draco smiles sadly, “I meant I literally can’t sleep.”   
Oh. You want to ask why hoping it’d give you some inclination as to what it was Draco was being forced to do but thought against it. It wasn’t the time or the place.   
“How about some tea? Or… I’ve got some fire whiskey stashed away, if that helps” you averted your eyes knowing you shouldn’t have alcohol on school grounds, even if you were legally old enough to drink it. “What would make you feel better?”  
And without thinking, Draco said, “You”.   
And without thinking, you kissed his soft lips, gently pushing him down on the bed beneath you. If you were what he needed to save himself, you were happy to oblige.   
You laid your head on his chest as he held you tight, thinking about what you’d just done and how he’d interpret your actions. You didn’t know how you felt yourself, honestly. There was a time when you were both younger that you’d thought you’d get married one day but you knew now it could never be. You were just too different and Draco had done things you knew you couldn’t overlook, even if he felt helpless when doing them. You wondered why all night and found yourself weeping silent tears. You wondered if it was you, if you were the reason why he’d done this. If you weren’t there for your friend like you promised you’d be? If you abandoned him when he needed you most? If you pushed him away right into the clutches of the death eaters?

When you were sure he was asleep, you rolled up his sleeve again. You studied the dark mark and hated it for blemishing his porcelain skin. You didn’t know if any magic could undo this but you had to find out.   
You left Draco sleeping in his bed, replacing yourself with your pillow. Draco clutched it tightly and a frown appeared across his face. You placed your hand on his forehead and pushed a piece of hair that fell between his eyebrows back toward the rest of his hair. His frown vanished and he fell back into a peaceful sleep. 

You went to professor Snape’s chambers and knocked on his door.   
He opened it and seemed to have been awake. He looked almost in as rough a shape as Draco.   
“Miss y/l/n, do you have any idea what time it is? I could have you expelled for disturbing a professor at this hour of the night.”  
“I apologize professor, but it’s…” you weren’t sure how to proceed, “about Draco,” you finished.   
“What exactly about Draco?”  
“I’m worried about him,” you say, “about what he’s become, what he’ll do,”  
“What is it that you presume he’ll do,”  
“I don’t know professor but-“  
“If you don’t know then there is nothing either of us can do. I suggest you go back to your dorm at once Miss y/l/n. 5 points from Slytherin,” Snape finishes by closing his door in your face, making it evidently clear he’ll be no help to you.


	3. Chapter 3

You learned, much to your dismay, that there would be no way to remove the dark mark.   
You’d asked Harry if you could borrow his invisibility cloak and while he hadn’t agreed to let you use it. He agreed to sneak into the restricted section and get you the book you were looking for.   
It told you that some dark magic was too powerful to be reversed or broken, things like the unforgivable vow and the dark marks were among them. 

You kept the book hidden in your robes to give back to Harry to put away when you see him walking in one of the hallways.   
“Oh Harry!” You call out but he doesn’t hear you and disappears into the bathroom. You decide you’ll wait for him to come back out since you want to be rid of the book as soon as possible. 

As you wait your thoughts drift back to Draco. The night after you kissed him, he kept you at a distance. He stopped sleeping again and sometimes disappeared for hours on end. You stopped expecting to see him around and were more surprised when you did than when you didn’t. You wished- but your thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of something exploding. You raced into the bathroom without thinking and saw Harry and Draco attacking each other with their wands. They didn’t notice you and you knew better than to draw attention to yourself but you could sense Draco’s fear and rage. As you watched him position his wand, you knew whatever spell he cashed would be an awful one but- Harry beat him to it and Draco howled in pain.   
“Draco!” You shouted unable to hold it in. You raced toward him and saw that he was bleeding from numerous cuts all over his body. “What did you do Harry?” You turned to him but he looked just as scared as you. He didn’t know what he’d done, so there was no way he’d be able to tell you. “Okay, forget it, just come help me!”   
You placed your hands over Draco’s cuts, trying desperately to keep the blood from oozing but the water that was flooding the floor was already a murky red.   
“Don’t you dare touch me!” Draco screamed and at first you thought he meant you but you realized quickly that he meant Harry.   
And suddenly Snape appeared out of nowhere. “Move aside,” he told you but you only made room for him and stayed where you were. Snape began to mutter some strange incantation and you noticed Draco’s cuts closing. You turned to look back at Harry but he was gone. When you look at Draco, you see the water has soaked through his sleeves revealing that awful dark mark and the true cause of all that just happened. 

Once Draco was healed, Snape said he’d speak to him in private and ordered you to take him to his dorm and help him apply essence of dittany to his cuts to avoid scarring. You happily obliged as it’d force the two of you together and you had some things you wanted to tell Draco anyway.   
“How are you feeling now?” You asked. “Are you in any pain?” But Draco said nothing as you helped him into the common room and to his dorm. “Fine,” you sit him on the bed and start to unbutton the soaking shirt. He mutters something at the door with his wand and you hear it lock.   
“I don’t need your help y/l/n,” he takes over. Wincing as he takes off his shirt and applies the essence. He’s still sore and he can’t reach quite a few cuts on his back but you let him take care of himself.   
“If you don’t want me to touch you, just say that. I can still help,” you leviosa the bottle up and away from his hand and manipulate it to gently cascade down his back. “There, now just rub it in,” but he still can’t quite reach.   
You watch the essence drip down his cuts, trying to think of another spell to absorb it into his skin when he speaks.   
“Just do it for me then,”   
“That would involve my hands on your skin,” you say, raising a brow.   
“Yes I’m aware,”  
“As long as you’re aware,” you stop teasing, and rub the ointment into his back. Despite his cuts healing, he’s so tense. You can feel the knots in his skin. As you continue to run your hands along his back you notice Draco has closed his eyes. You take this as a sign to ask, “So what was that all about then?”   
His eyes snap open, the gray in them is gone. They’re almost black. “None of your business y/l/n,” he moves away from you, puts his shirt back on.   
“It seems like it is, since I’m here helping you now,”  
“Right and why the hell were you even there? I actually find it funny how you and Potter managed to be there at the same time. Like the two of you were in on this thing together.”  
“No of course not! I was returning his books. I’d never do anything to hurt you Draco, you know that!”   
“Returning his books? Ha! I had no idea the two of you were that close. But then again, it was only a matter of time, knowing you.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You wondered if he was trying to just rile you up any old way but his change in tone was quick and alarming. The two of you had never argued like this. He didn’t even sound like himself.   
“You’ve always had a thing for Potter, since 3rd year,”  
“Third year?! What? Harry and I are barely even friends. I’ve never-,” you’re genuinely confused but then you realize this isn’t about you. Not really. There’s something wrong with Draco and you needed to find out what. “What does it matter anyway? We need to talk about what just happened now and why!” you say.   
“It matters y/l/n,” he laughs wickedly, “It proves you can’t be trusted,”  
“I can’t be trusted over something that never happened? Come off it Draco. You’re just making things up to push me away. Please don’t do this.  
I can help.”  
He doesn’t answer, but he walks toward you, backing you on to his bed where you flop down and take a seat. He places his hands on either side of you and leans in, his mouth close to your ear. “I know what you’re doing and it won’t work. Not again,”  
“What? Again?”  
“You're trying to distract me from my purpose. I knew the whole thing was a setup from the first time you kissed me. I’ll admit you had me going for a bit, but you’d never do a thing like that, unless you had an ulterior motive,”  
“I have no ulterior motive Draco. I- I care about you. I’d do anything for you to be okay. Please, it’s just you and me.” You kiss him again hoping he’d see, but he pulls away and holds your face in one hand.   
“You’re a Slytherin through and through. You must know how much I want you, how much I need you. You drive me crazy and you’ve used that to your advantage. Well two can play at that. You think you’ll get me to fail my mission? But I’ll get you to do the quite the opposite. I’ll keep you under my control so you can’t go around and scheme with Potter! You’ll never go against me again!” He grabs your wrists suddenly, tightly.   
“Draco, you’re scaring me,” you try to free your hands but it’s no use. “I don’t think you’re well. Let’s speak to Professor Snape. There must be something he can give you to feel better.” you offer, hoping he’d agree. You’d never seen him so agitated and desperate.   
“He won’t help you,” Draco laughs and you start to hate the sound. It’s not the laugh you knew from childhood. It’s something feral. “He won’t do anything to stop this.”  
“What’s this? Tell me Draco,” You plead, desperate to understand what’s happening.   
“This,” he simply says and kisses you, climbing on top of you on his bed. You’re so confused, but you're hesitant to turn away. He kisses down your neck and back up to your mouth. You’re trying so hard to understand what's happening that you don’t notice him take out out his wand and point it at you until you hear him moan “imperio” into your mouth and then everything turns foggy.


	4. Chapter 4

You weren’t made to do anything you wouldn’t usually do. You didn’t have the dark mark, you were never made to hurt anyone, and Draco stayed a good distance away from you at all times. You went about your classes like normal. You hung out with friends, you studied for exams and practiced charms. You ate and slept and lived your ordinary life.   
What you didn’t do was talk to Draco, you didn’t follow  
him, you didn’t offer your support, you even stayed away from Snape, but most importantly, you minded your own business. 

The night the fog cleared was the same night Dumbledore died. You thought you knew who did it when you heard but it was Professor Snape who killed him. That being said, Draco was gone. You didn’t know if you’d see him again. You didn’t know if you wanted to after what he did.   
You let Draco off for many of the horrible things he’d done but casting imperio on you was, much like it’s name, unforgivable. 

•••

“Harry,” you found him on the train back to platform 9 and ¾. “Would you mind if I stole you away for a moment,” Ron stared at you dumbfounded and you tried not to giggle. “If Ronald and Hermione don’t mind of course.” You didn’t know them well enough to use nicknames. 

“Sure,” Harry said. He sounded tired. As you both walked out of the compartment you heard Ron say “Didn’t know y/n knew my name,”  
“Honestly Ron?” Hermione said back slightly peeved.   
You made a mental note to steer clear of those two.   
“So what did you want to talk about?” Harry said once the two of you found an empty space. 

“I just- You were the only one there that night that I can talk to and- Well, Draco and I have known each other since we were kids and he’s honestly grown up to be someone I hardly recognize but- look, I know Snape killed Dumbledore but did you think even for a second that Draco would do it? Did you think he could?”

Harry was silent for a long time. He looked away as if he were deep in thought. When he finally answered, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “Not that night. Maybe I thought he could’ve but something in him changed. He wouldn’t have killed anyone. I don’t think he ever could.”

“Thank you so much Harry. I-“ you feel like you could hug him but you’re not that close. You reach for his hand instead and hold it in both of yours. “I really appreciate you saying that”. You let go and run off back to your seat thinking that, while you’d never see Draco in that same light as when you were kids, maybe everything that happened hadn’t been for nothing.


End file.
